this is college

pages and pages and books and rentals and coffee (lots of coffee) and tea and no sleep and chocolate and four-ish months later, my first semester has ended. College was definitely not what I expected. First off, I expected myself to like it. yet, most of the semester, I found myself looking at college and all it entailed, and saying, "this is college?"

I grew very discontent with college over the semester. It was keeping me from things that I wanted to do (pursuing my art, music, travelling, serving the church and hanging with friends and family) and had me doing things that i would rather be doing anything but (lookin' at you homework). Plus, i was making barely anything at my part-time job (Chick-fil-a, awww yeah) because i couldn't work many hours. 

I considered dropping out. (yep). Nothing this semester was the way I had envisioned it to go. I talked with my parents a lot about it, asking them why they wanted me to go to college so much. It costs so much, a lot of the time you pay for annoying or incompetent professors, you drown in homework, you don't get to do any of the things you want to do in the first place, I said. 

The entire time, I was focusing on myself. I didn't realize this until a few weeks ago, when in a sermon delivered by my youth pastor, he talked about singleness. It relates, I promise. He started out discussing the fact that human nature is always discontent where they are right now, using the example of singleness. If you are single, you want a boyfriend. If you have a boyfriend, you want to get married. If you're married, you want kids. If you have kids, you want a house, and so on. It wasn't until he connected the dots for me that I realized that I was doing that exact same thing. Not with singleness, of course, but with school. I was becoming so discontent with where I am right now and was imagining freedom to be the answer to my problems.

Ask yourself the question, "why does God have me here?" and you can almost immediately find contentment in your situation, whatever it is (college, singleness, work, etc).God has me on this campus (as I write this) to bring Him glory, to be a light in the darkness, to share the gospel. This is the only thing that can truly bring me contentment in my life. Not being able to do whatever I want, not being able to travel, or pursue music, or pursue art, or spend time with my friends. 

College is a way for me to honor God. I'm pretty sure there's no place in the bible that advocates laziness or indulgence for a disciple of Christ. It's also a way for me to honor my parents, a way for me to be a light on the campus, to serve God diligently by doing all things for his glory (including homework). It's a way to be a good steward of my very small salary and to exercise wisdom and delayed gratification. My youth or college years are not meant to be spent serving myself or taking a break from life. Let's do the hard things. 

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